Epstein didn't kill himself
by FetusFluid69
Summary: A package shows up on a doorstep. That package sends our two heroes into an ever deepening conspiracy. And with Star watching all those buddy cop movies, it's gonna be a wild ride. [DISCONTINUED]
1. Pilot Literally

Ch 1: A letter.

Jacob opened the crate. Inside, there was another box covered in canvas. It had two yellow straps forming an X over it. On this box, was a letter. Jacob took it out if the envelope and got a pencil to scribble out the important names.

_**U.S. Department of Justice**_

_Federal Bureau of Investigation_

_Clarksburg, Harrison County, West Virginia_

_Dear _[SCRIBBLED]

_Enclosed, please find the necessary materials you have requested in your August 12th call. These objects include: 50 official DECT-Class investigation badges, an order for 50 official DECT-Class uniforms that can be retrieved at any Walmart, an order for 50 PACI-Class weaponry that can be retrieved at any police station, an order for 50 LETHE-Class weaponry that can be retrieved at any Walmart, 50 DECTA-WEEP-Class hand manuals for on field training, and warrants for _[SCRIBBLED]

_It is also worth mentioning that the material used in wrapping this cargo is a damage resistant, anti heat and cold experimental material. It can withstand drops of 20,000 feet_

_Logistics division A_

_Attorney General _[SCRIBBLED]

[SCRIBBLED]

He was gonna go on to scribble out the rest of the important information, But he realized a lot of time could be saved by just ripping it up. So he ripped it up into many pieces. The quiet of the airplane made it sound louder than it actually was. With all the little pieces of paper, he threw them vaguely in the direction of the crate. A few landed in the crate, but most of it was scattered on the floor. He closed up the crate. Then he walked out of the cargo hold and into the cockpit. There was one pilot. An old man, seasoned in flying.

"Hey, uh, there's something wrong with the cargoI think. Sounds like there's a squirrel in there." Jason said.

The pilot grunted, put the plane on autopilot, and got up to inspect the cargo without saying a word. The pilot closed the door behind him as he listened for some noise. The only noise he heard was the door locking behind him. He turned and tried to open it again, maybe the sound was just in his mind.

But no, it was locked. The pilot was about to knock and scream "hey" when the harsh white light of the cargo hold became red. Flashing red lights followed by a whirring of machinery akin to the opening of a garage door. Frantically, he screamed into the other side of the door.

"OPEN UP! OPEN UP DAMN IT!" But no matter how hard he knocked, there was no response. The wall opposite the door was being lowered. On the other side was the outside world, or rather a light that meant a sure-fire 30,000 feet lethal drop. The angled door lowered.

"LET ME IN! LET ME IN!" He could see the blue sky now. The air pressure from the outside was low, this meant a rush of air blew the lighter things out of the cargo hold. But the pilot held on.

"COME ON! COME ON! DAMN AUTOPILOT! CLOSE THE DOOR!" He thought that the auto-pilot glitched and that it was opening the door. He took out his credit card and tried to slide it in between the door and doorframe, in a futile attempt at opening the door. The crate that Jason meddled with flew out.

"JASON! JASON OPEN THE DOOR! TURN THE RED HANDLE AND-" The door was almost fully open. Wind thrashed the pilot's gray, thinning hair. He held on tight.

3… the pilot made sure he was firmly anchored.

2… he called out one last time "OPEN!" He felt the floor below him angle downwards.

1… He slipped. His feet slipped, but his hands held firm. He quickly regained balance.

The angling was a figment of his imagination. There was a good 2 feet before the floor actually lowered. The pilot was just really afraid of heights. The door opened, startling him.

"OH MY GOODNESS, THANK YOU!" he threw himself into Jason's arms.

Jason put both hands on the pilot's shoulders. He stared blankly into the pilot's eyes. For an awkward moment, they were both silent. Then, Jason used his hand to cover the pilot's mouth. He kicked out the pilot's legs, causing the pilot to lose balance. Then, in one motion, he struck the pilot below the ear but above the jaw. The pilot's vision blurred, his ears rang, and he was pushed off the plane.

Jason sat in the cockpit. The pilot's death would be caused by an autopilot malfunction. That was what it would look like. Jason removed the manual control key and switched the plane back into the real autopilot. He sat back and awaited his arrival to his destination. As Jason dozed off to sleep, he remembered something. The cargo would land eventually. He had memorized his route, and visualized that, exactly 3 hours into the flight, the plane would be on top of a small town. Echo creek they called it. No need to worry, as long as the important cargo didn't have some super alien canvas or something that could survive a 40,000 foot drop, the cargo would be destroyed.

Jason suddenly stood up and said "Ah shit." then he remembered that the letter said 20,000 feet. Jason breathed a sigh of relief.

_Only thing that can happen now is that a bubble comes up and gently floats the cargo down. _Jason thought to himself


	2. That's what she said

Ch 2: First target.

"MARCO! MARCO! I FINALLY GOT IT! I GOT THE HANG OF IT!" Star was practically jumping up and down.

"How many times do I have to say it? You can't make pyrotechnics on that magnitude legally." Marco took a sip from his upside down juice pouch.

"I saw it when David Hardt drove off from the White House, I'll see it on this bench!" Star pointed to the bench.

"That's destruction of government property. And I don't think an 80s cop movie is-"

"Well i'm doing it, without you approval." Star went about it smugly. "IT'S GONNA BE A HARDT TIME FOR YOU!" She swung her arms up in a pre-emptive celebration. This caused her wand that she was holding to turn the bench into a bubble machine generating some bubbles.

Marco sipped his juice slowly, then said "Hardt always had a thing for bubbles. I know because you made me watch it 11 times."

"Well if you want to do your own thing, then fine by me!" Star's tone indicated that it was definitely not fine by her. She stomped her way to the bubble machine and sat on top of it.

Marco sighed, sipped his juice, as said "Come on Star, get up and-"

"No, no, i'm tired of you throwing your pity at me. I'll find someone who actually wants to watch 80s cop movies with me, i'll go home, I hope you do the same."

"We live in the same house."

"Well, darn it."

"I'm just gonna leave, i'm sure you need to stay outside to find someone." Marco drank all his juice. "Don't worry, the only thing that could make me stay is something falling from the sky and- hey what's that?" Marco pointed to the bubble in the sky. There was something in it, and it was right above Marco. It popped.

It crashed down on Marco, thus making him stay.

Star and Marco got up, and inspected the box that just fell.

"Woah, it's so big!" Indeed it was. It got up to the height of Star's waist.

"That's what she said" Marco put his hands on the box, feeling the wood (That's what she said) under the canvas

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's delve into her mouth!" (Lmao) The mouth, of course, referring to the hole that would appear once the cover was opened.

"Woah, not so fast! We can't just go ham on it!" (Lmao) "Opening other people's mail is a federal crime!" Marco took his hands off the wood (Really? Taking his hands off the wood just like that?)

"Well, I'm pretty sure this is directed at me! This is how mail is delivered in Mewni, it falls out of the sky! Sometimes it's wet-" (Lmao) "-but that's because it spawned inside a cloud."

"Well, ok…" Marco was just glad Star was happy again. "Open it up."

Star used scissors to cut the canvas, then she opened the crate. Inside were a bunch of bags, manuals, and some stacks of paper. Star picked up one of the bags and looked inside.

"What is it?" Marco asked.

"It's… oh! It's a police badge! Just like in-"

"A badge? Like, flip it open really fast and you'll get everything badge?"

"So you DID watch '_The Last Patrol._' I knew it!"

"Yeah yeah," Marco flipped through one of the books. "Looks like, a police manual? Buncha stuff about guns and uniforms."

Star took one of the bigger books out and red through it. Once she did, she lit up like a firework. "This right here, are orders to investigate a death."

Marco took the book out of her hand and flipped to the first page. Sure enough, there it was. Clear as day.

"_You are to investigate the death of Jeffery Edward Epstein and prosecute any involved perpetrators." _Marco read aloud.

Star was smiling "Well, this is obviously directed to us! So it's our job to do it, right? Come on, we can be partners!"

"Eh, sure."

"We need cop names!" Star exclaimed in delight "i'll be… oh I know! SUPEREXAGGERATED80SCOPMOVIE!" She swung her wand around, and got aviators on her eyes. That was the entire wardrobe change. "Detective Butterfly Star, or B.S. for short. Loose cannon! What's your name?"

"Uh, Faraday sounds like a cool name so… Marco Faraday? That sounds cool right?"

"Alright, SUPEREXAGGERATED80SCOPMOVIEAGAIN!" Marco just got a coffee aroma around him "You'll be Marco Faraday, of M.F. for short. By the book and new on the job!"

"We're both- you know what i'll just let you live you fantasy."

"Let's get on the job, recruit." Star looked through the pages "ah, here's our first bust: '_Prime candidate: Former President Barack Hussein Obama ll has an intimate knowledge of high corruption. Recommended for information._"


	3. My nigga Obama

Ch 3: ObamadO

The former president of the United States, Barack Obama was straight _**BOOLIN' **_in the trap house. He popped a Xan and swallowed it with some lean. All the thots around him cheered, and his homies did the same. Lil dicky turned up the trap music

"And I said to them uhh… niggas that uhh… 'if you do some fuck fuck shit the white house gonna get a red coat' and them uhh… dumbasses thought I was gonna buy them some uhh… red gucci like godamn dumb uhh… hoes out here" Obama was pointing his glock around like a finger. "And so uhh… we made a uhh… deal. Isis would uhh… get some green rock and then they would leave the uhh… niggas in iraq alone. Rock was called uranium or something, strange name for a rock and roll song but I wasn't uhh… judging." Obama took the boof from his homie from the left, Strong Vesspucci was his name.

"Obama, my nigga." Strong Vesspucci said while passing the boof. "I heard you did some real shit with a nigga named Epipen. Tell us about that, Magnum 44." Obama's nickname was Magnum 44. Because he always had a magnum on his strap, and because he was the 44th president.

Obama took a phat sip from the boof and coughed when he passed it to his right. "Yeah, that Epstein was a hood nigga. Nigga was wierd as uhh… hell. Heard he was caught lackin' in prison. The po po say he uhh… he pulled a fast one on himself. Nigga's dead man." A moment of silence passed, as is customary within the 'Leftist gang' when the mention of a dead nigga arose. "However, I don't think he's uhh... dead."

"Nigga what you been smokin'? I seent the body. They prefor-mend an autobiography on his body." Illiterate Ivan said.

"Ah well that what they want ya'll niggas to uhh… think." Just as he was about to explain how Epstein could've survived, Strapped stanley burst through the door.

"IT'S THE POLICE! HIDE YO HOES! HIDE YO CRACK! THERE BE TWO POLICE OUT THERE!"

"OH uhh… SHIT!" Obama jumped out of his chair "WE GOTTA GET THE FUCKEN CRACK HIDDEN!" But it was to late, Detective B.S. and Detective M.F. Were busting down the doors.

"EVERYONE ON THE GROUND!" Star started wildly shooting magic rainbows everywhere. Marco just walked in, not firing a single shot from his taser.

"Star! Stop shooting!" Marco tried to hold her back, but only succeeded in holding her in place, not her shooting. Then, a shot went off and shot Star's wand out of her hand.

"Damn, uhh… lil nigga! You could've just walked in peacefully and you'd get ya bribes!" Obama put his magnum strap to his side. "Whatchu want?"

"We need to talk to-" Marco was bonked on the head by Star.

"Let me do the talking, Faraday." Star adjusted her sunglasses and started to walk up to Obama.

"Faraday? That's a dumbass name lil nigga." one of the crack cookers said.

"So, Mr. Obama." Star flipped her I.D. quickly so that that no-one saw that it wasn't her in the picture. "You are under arrest."

**2 hours later**, Obama was in an interrogation room in the local police department.

"How did you even get a room for us? "(Lmao) Marco pointed through the one way glass.

"Just flipped the I.D. simple as that, kiddo." Star looked at Obama with ambition "our first interrogation."

"But that's the leader of our dear nation!" Marco stated with speculation "we can't do an interrogation on the leader of this nation! Have you given this at least a few minutes of contemplation?

"You see, that's how people see our differentiation. You'll do everything with your mind, from pre cancellation to post vaccination. While I'm here, never getting a sense of acclimatization." Star said

"What about the administration? What will be their interpretation? Interrogation on a leader of our nation will gather overconcentration!"

"That's why we do this fast and without too much scrutinization." Star walked to the door leading to the inside of the room "I'll be bad cop, you be good cop. That enough triangularization?"

"I don't think that's the right interpretation of-" but Star was already through the door.

Star was the first one in.

"Sup' lil nigga." Obama said.

Star shot a rainbow down towards the table, destroying all the files on it.

"DAMN YOU A uhh… CRAZY BITCH!" Obama tried to get away, but he was handcuffed to his seat. The seat was bolted down.

Star waved her wand at Obama menacingly. "TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT EPSTEIN!"

Obama, still cowering, said "Alright, crazy ass nigga! All you wanted to know about was Esptein?" Obama then calmed himself down and sat in his seat. "Alright, uhh… he was this bidness man. But he needed someone to uhh… work for' him on his island. You see, I was fresh off the plane from uhh… Kenya. I needed some paper, so I took the job. I was assigned the Head of Information." Star started to just quietly listen, not even pressuring him.

"What I didn't realize, is the kind of uhh… shit that went down there. Some crazy ass rich niggas, coming in and going out like it was a mcdonalds. Only difference was that they weren't eating burgers, uhh… they were eating out 15 year old women." Obama sat in silence, as if in mourning.

"Now, I was hired because Epstein was running this shit. And I mean RUNNING this uhh… shit. Nigga had royalty, politicians, and some famous singers! Nigga realized he could get some info, so he hired me to keep track of uhh... everyone who came on that island, and came on some women. I was so disgusted, that I was gonna uhh… quit. But first, I installed a uhh… backdoor to the servers. Those servers had uhh… all the names of people who went there. I was a master hacker back in uhh… those days. The backdoor needed the key, and that key is a series of code."

"A series of code?" Star asked curiously, but not at all menacing.

"Yeah. I didn't trust myself tho. I uhh... wrote them down with an original encryption I made myself on two pieces of paper. Then I accidentally left the decryption at the island. I gave the two series of code with two people. Spongebob Squarepants, and the CEO of EA Andrew Wilson. I've smoked so much weed in my day that I forgot the actual code to access the backdoor."

"Huh. So Marco and I have a new target, the series of code." Star was fiddling with her wand in thought.

"Yes, but I remember how to actually put the uhh… code into the backdoor. So I guess you'll have to bring me along. I have hacker skills, you uhh… know? Also, the people "

"I'll consider it." Star left.

"Well, Star? What did you get?" Marco asked once Star was back in the viewing room. Marco walked back out the hallway and into the observation room.

"Looked like he confessed everything, but he could be hiding something. Better go it, M.F."

"Alright, i'm good cop right?"

"Yeah." Star confirmed as Marco headed out the door.

Marco walked into the interrogation room. Between Obama andhim was a phone on the ground.

"I'll make this easy, are you hiding anything else?" As Marco said this, the phone rang. Out of curiosity, Marco picked up the phone and hesitantly answered.

On the other side, was a voice. "That's just all he know he don't know nothing else."

"Who is this?" Marco whispered into the phone out of caution.

"My dawg could prolly do it for a Louis belt." Then there was a smacking sound. The sound of a Louis Vuitton hitting a… sponge?

"Who is this?" Marco said at a normal voice, if a little panicky.

"I tried to show em' yeah I tried to show em'" The smacking continued. Then on the other end, the phone was passed to the thing being beaten.

"It's… spongebob… Drake has been torturing me… trying to get me to tell him where the code is… but I won't LET HIM! Also he told me… to tell you guys… that if you don't get off the case soon… I'll be killed. Toddles!" Drake's end hung up.


	4. Hax

Ch 4: H4X0R_B4M4_44

"GET IN THE CAR!" Star slid across the hood of the car.

"Wait, where are we going again?" Marco got in the drivers seat and turned on the car.

"Don't you remember? Obama set up a '3PIC_H4X0R_C3N73R' in the police station!" Star said while closing the door.

"And it only took him a few seconds to track the location of the phone?" Marco said while putting on his seat belt. Star didn't put on her seat belt, instead she loaded her Glock 19.

"Don't question the H4X0R! Now drive!" Marco floored it and put on the sirens. They left the police station, which made them get some airtime on a hill.

"Why'd you load a gun?" Marco asked.

"Three… two… one…" As Star said one, a hail of bullets cracked the windshield and side windows of the car.

"OH MY GOD!" Marco swerved left and right. The bullets came from a car on their left. Keep in mind they're in America (West country best country) so no right hand driver's seat. The car kept up with them and sent another hail of bullets.

"GET YOUR HEAD DOWN AND KEEP MOVING!" Star shouted. Marco got his head down below the side window. Star shot at the window thrice to shatter it open. Then she started to shoot the aggressive car. She unloaded her gun and started to reload.

"THAT WAS SO LOUD!" Marco shouted. He lifted his head hail of bullets came. One bullet grazed Marco's cheek. Then another hail. This one from in front of them another car.

"Who are these people? Said Marco as he drove.

"Hired gangs, most likely." Star shot at the one in the front "Boy! Hardt had a scene just like this right? In fact…" Star opened the glove box with a Glock inside. "You shoot the ones at the left, I shoot the ones at the front!"

"WHAT?" But the gun was already in his hands. "Darn it…" Marco made his chair go as far back as it could. It provided ample cover. He leaned forwards and emptied his Glock. He reloaded it and shot at them again. This time he shot out a tire. Star shattered the windshield.

"What the hell is…" Marco, looking at the left car, noticed that they had a flak 38. Being towed at the back. One of the aggressors was climbing up to it. If there's one thing he learned from playing Battlefield one, it's that Flak is explosive. And if there a second thing he learned from Battlefield one, it would be that Explosives + car = explosions.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN BLOW UP THIS M.F.? THAT'S B.S.!" He steered the police car and slammed into the car. He saw that the person getting onto the Flak was knocked off. Now all that was left was the driver. Throughout this, Star was still shooting the front vehicle.

The window on the other car opened, and the driver jumped into their car. His legs were sticking out, but the rest of him was in. He had a switchblade out.

"DIE, KID!" He made made a swing towards Marco's chest, but he was shot by Star before it could happen. Blood splattered a bit on Marco.

"Looks like he couldn't… handle the B.S." Star said.

Marco pushed the dead body out of the car. Then, he steered the car into an alley, thus losing the front aggressor.

They were silent for a moment, then Star lit up. "OH MY GOSH! THAT WAS SO FUN! THAT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT SCENE IN BAD COPS 2! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!"

Marco wiped some blood off his cheek. He couldn't tell if it was from his graze wound or from the splatter when Star shot that guy.

"Star, do you know what you just did?"

"I absolutely DESTROYED those bad guys!" Star put both hands in the air "oh yeah! WOO!"

Marco just drove. After a few minutes, Marco heard something.

"Hey, you hear that?" Marco said.

Star was silent for a moment, then used her elbow to break her side window.

"You could've just rolled the window down, you kno-" Marco was silenced when gunshots came from above. He kept his head down, but the bullets kept on coming. Eventually, the tires gave out and they crashed. It wasn't a very big crash, but they got out all the same.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" Marco got out of the car and used it as cover. Star was next to him doing the same.

"I'LL TAKE A PEEK!" Star had to shout louder than the bullets. She took a quick peek and saw a police helicopter. "IT'S A POLICE HELICOPTER! THEY HAVE A MINIGUN!"

Just then, the mini gun stopped and the helicopter flew away. "Why would they shoot at us?" Marco questioned no one in particular.

"It was to get us off our car." Star, being the cop movie expert, pointed to two cars heading towards them. "And to by the gangsters some time." Soon, four cars surrounded them on all sides.

For a few moments, the world was silent. Marco suspected they would open fire, but they didn't. Instead they all got out of their cars showing off their AK47, MAC-11, Glocks, and 9s.

"All these pussy niggas hating tryna knock me off my grind. But I can't let 'em do it. I got murder on my mind" One of the more tattooed gangsters brandished his MAC-11

"What in the-"

"YOU TRYNA UPHOLD MY BIDNESS? TIME IS MONEY NIGGA!" The gangster shouted.

"Star, you have your wand right?" Marco whispered.

"No, but I have a better idea." Star took out a phone and called Obama.

"Star? What the uhh… hell are you doing? I'm seeing multiple uhh… cars against you!" Obama looked at his left monitor.

"Obama, I need you to take these people out." Star said.

"Ah, say uhh… no more." Obama hung up and went full hacker mode.

He put on his sunglasses, he pulled on his black trench coat, and put three monitors on his desk. Rapidly typing on the keyboard, fast-paced music started to play from out of nowhere. Remember, this is Obama.

"My god, these guys have expert counter hackers! I'll need joe on this!" Obama called up joe on his phone. One hand on the keyboard, the other on his phone.

"Joe! I need uhh… Hacking assistance!" Obama said.

"Don't call me Joe…" Joe Biden said "Use my hacker name… Enigma."

"Alright. Enigma. I need help hacking into these gangster's cars."

Say no more, Obama." Joe Biden was put on speaker..

Obama put both hands on the keyboard as Joe did. Obama tried to hack his way in. But no matter how many finger muscles he used, he still wasn't getting access.

"Joe! I can't get in!" Obama said.

"Don't worry, Obama." Enigma said from the phone. "I have a backdoor, that will punch right through their firewall and into the mainframe!"

"Uhh…" Obama said, not understanding the vague hacker terms Enigma just used. "I guess your bark is worse than your… byte."

"Oh, you always LAN me in a pool of laughter. But I still can't get into their hard drive!"

"I have an idea, but it might be-"

"Do it! It's all we've got!" Joe interrupted.

"Fine." Obama switched to an overly complicated user interface. Then, with multiple keyboards, started to type so fast it looked like he had three arms. On his screen, a loading bar started to increase. The bar was labeled "_Uploading virus_"

When it hit 100% "Access granted" showed up with green text.

"I'm in." Obama said.

With a few types, he inserted:

_If{car}does{exist}_

_Then{Explode}the{car}_

Obama hit enter, and all the gangster's cars exploded. Taking everyone except Star and Marco with them.

"WHY DID THE CARS JUST EXPLODE?!" Marco shouted.

"Never question the H4X0R_B4M4_44" Star said.

"THAT'S NOT HOW HACK-"

"Shhh." Star put her finger on his lips. "Never question. Now come on! We can commandeer a vehicle! We need to get to Drake's hideout!"


	5. RIP DRAKE

Ch 5: God's plan

Spongebob struggled in his seat "Please, let me go!"

"Don't start no trouble with me, tryna keep it peaceful it's a struggle for me." Drake seemed to be on the edge on shooting Spongebobby.

"You're in big trouble mister! Once the M.F. B.S. Duo shows up, you are gonna be under arrest!"

"Yes I see the things they be wishing on me."

Outside of the warehouse, B.S. cocked his gun and kicked open the door.

"EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND!" Star shouted.

"Star, there is literally only two people here."

"Don't interrupt me, rookie!"

"I mean, where the fuck should I really even start?" Drake said.

"Drake, we can negotiate right?" Star said.

"'Cause the way I do my deals, never treated like a artist." Drake agreed.

"Alright, so can we have spongebob?" Star pointed to the bound spongeboy.

"STAR LOOK OUT!" Marco shot Drake in the leg. Drake revealed the MAC-11 he had in his pocket.

"Woah!" Star ran to cover, as did Marco and Drake. Drake took a few burst shots at Marco. Marco emptied his magazine at Drake, but did not hit a shot. Drake emptied his magazine. Star took as hot and hit Drake in the heart.

"When I die, put my money in the grave." Were Drake's last words.

"YES! I TOOK DOWN THE BAD GUY!" Star walked to Spongebob m'boy "I guess I'll… STAR-t to untie him!"

"Star, you just killed that guy!" Marco looked at Drake's body

"Stop being a scaredy cat! What are the police going to do? Arrest a policeman? That's literally against the laws of physics!" Star untied the gag on Spongbob's mouth.

"Thank you guys!" Spongerobert said.

"ßpönjböb ßküarpäntß" Star said "Where is the Epstein codes?"

"Oh." Spingbawb said "in my pocket."

Star slipped her hand into spoon's Square pocket, and found a usb stick.

"Those are ⅓ of the codes!" Songbo said.

"Cool! Lets go Marco!"

"Wait, aren't we going to free Spongebob?" Marco held up a knife.

"Ah he can compress himself right? He's a sponge!" As Star said this, Spongebob compressed himself and got free from his ropes. He ran away.

"Well, rookie, you keep this up and you might just get yourself a promotion."

"Star, we aren't even cops."

"Well it's time to go to our next stop! EA headquarters!"

**AN: Bruh the meme died and thus, this fic. I don't want to work on this anymore. RIP THIS**


End file.
